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helpful

Matsu and Kamatari's guide to love!
Good day all, once more it has come to my attention that the citizens of our fair city have been having trouble. I could offer to take questions again, however that does not strike me as the correct approach. It appears that those of you who most need help are those least likely to ask for it.

Ikumatsu-san, please get on with it.

Patience, Kamatari-san, patience.  As I was saying, instead of answering questions, I thought it would be better to simply provide the answers.  Now, although Kamatari-san are vastly different in many ways, our approach to love is quite similar. Though... my taste in men is infinitely superior.

WHAT?!

The man you continue to pine over  was a cruel, vicious, and altogether immoral.

Yeah? Well, the object of your obsession was a Meiji dog!

Ahem, well, though our specific tastes are quite different, our approaches are similar, which is why we are working together to bring this guide. Now, without further ado: Kido Matsuko and Honjou Kamatari's guide to love.


Rule number one: Loyalty. We cannot possibly stress this point enough. Once you have chosen someone, staying by their side is vital. This is not to say that the two of you are bound together forever, however while the relationship exists one should be as devoted as possible.

And if you've decided that the person you love is not just some fling, but "the one," then don't think that death gets you out of this. They may be gone, but that means it's all the more important for you to keep their memory in your heart.

Quite so, Kamatari-san. Those reading this would do to realize that there are many shades of loyalty. Fickleness is a terrible trait. A man or woman who flits carelessly  flits from one lover to another is bound to get him or herself in trouble. Especially if the one you are in a relationship with has been led to believe that the two of you are committed to one another.  If you do choose to take another lover, then honesty is the most important factor., along with understanding your priorities. Hiding a second (or third) relationship is  dishonorable and wrong. Everyone should be taken care of.

This goes double for morons with more muscles than brains who are stealing my man!

That's very nice, Kamatari-san. Now, if we could kindly move on to the second half of navigating more than one relationship: priorities. There's nothing wrong with keeping a mistress, and she must be taken care of, but any man worth anything understands that his wife comes first. To put another partner ahead of her is dishonorable and will bring humiliation upon her. A mistress who attempts to turn a man against his wife is vulgar thing.

Yeah, you wouldn't believe the nerve of some people.  They waltz in a seduce a man away from his loyal subordinate who's done nothing but follow and obey him. How is that fair?

As Kamatari-san says, everyone's emotions must be respected, or else pain is inevitable.

Now that we have examined relationships through one viewpoint, we must do the same for another.  That brings us to another emotion that destroys so many relationships: jealousy.  A jealous lover is a truly ugly thing. This emotion only serves to distance your lover from you. No one likes to feel untrusted. If your husband is out late, do not automatically assumes he is spending the time in a brothel. If your wife often goes out often, do not assume that there is another man. No relationship can survive without trust.

If the one you love is indeed in another relationship, understand that this a normal occurrence. A man having a mistress does not mean he is unsatisfied with you. There are many facets to a person's life. There is also the fact that men of certain station are expected to have mistresses. Anything else will look faulty.

The perfect arrangement is for a man's wife and his mistress to be friends.  This works especially  well, as that means a wife doesn't have to worry that her husband is being foolish or making trouble. She can trust her friend to take care of him.

Remember, jealousy will only alienate those you wish to bring closer. You should keep this in mind, Kamatari-san.

What the hell? I am not jealous. Young women? Fine. Young men who hate the meiji government and wish to tell the truth about its lies? Also fine. Worthless bastards who keep disgusting company? NOT FINE!

Ah, I see.

Well, we have now  examined jealousy, and touched on the subject of giving your lover space and trust.  This goes beyond romantic jealous. I cannot emphasize trust enough.  Allow your loved one their life.  Too much pressure and they will move away.

Think of your lover as a slippery object. The tighter you grasp, the harder it is to hold on to.

Very insightful, Kamatari-san.

And it brings up sexy images.

I'm sure.

Some of you may be saying "What about me, Matsuko-san? I have no companion."  I shall be happy to help there as well.

The first step is to show an interest in their goals and dreams. Your support will be seen as a priceless gift.

Now, what  I am about to say is quite controversial, however both Kamatari-san and I stand firmly beside it. Nothing says I love you more than illegal activity. The risks you take there say more about your devotion than words ever could.

It also shows commitment. Once you've broken the law, it proves you're in for the long haul.

It also introduces an excellent opportunity to bring the two you closer together.

Another helpful suggestion is that when you want to get closer to someone, don't wait for them to make the first move. Initiative is sexy!  Be strong in romance!

Finally, remember that you can't go looking for love. Love will find you... whether you want it to or not.